Great First Date
Linda Rains

Few things in life can be so intimidating as a first date - especially when going in blindly, with only a few exchanged emails or telephone calls. Without a little careful planning, the tension of a first meeting can cause a potentially compatible couple to spontaneously combust in twenty minutes or less. Think about it. You’d never enter a job interview without a little preparation and attention to detail. Why should love be any different? You can’t just wing it, or you’re doomed to fail. Strategy counts on love’s battlefield, too. So pay careful attention to these four basic first-date moves, and the first introduction could lead to love. 1.Make your approach.

Swap at least a couple photos before making plans to meet. Because you’ve got plenty of stress ahead for the evening, why worry about approaching the wrong person or missing your date entirely? It’s no shock that most people choose their best shot for a profile and may look slightly different offline. Be prepared for two problems that may arise: Mistaken preliminary attraction and many awkward moments spent scanning the faces of complete strangers. Before you go, make sure you know your date’s true identity. Give details on how to find each other, reveal your clothing plans, top your duds with a bright tie or scarf.

2.Talk to me.

You’ve set aside time to spend with a relative stranger, so how do you plan to spend it? Talk! Regardless of whether or not the attraction translates from online to off, be friendly, be attentive and be inquisitive. Arm yourself with tons of questions about career, hobbies, family and interests. When your date reciprocates with a query of his or her own, go out of your way to avoid one-word responses. Don’t be shy; don’t hold back. You’re there to learn about one another, so open up and start talking.

3.Get down to business.

If you’re the type to typically clam up in the face of potential love, I highly suggest you partake in what I dub the “distraction date.” At all costs, avoid dinner and drinks. Stay away from coffee shops, and go nowhere near a quiet park. Save these venues for later dates when you’ve regained your talent for talk. Instead, try something sporty like miniature or Frisbee golf, batting cages or bicycling. If not a jock, try a course in dancing, pottery painting or a trip to the museum. Keep busy, and your date will never know you’re at a loss for words.

4.Focus on the finale.

The parting moment can be nearly as perplexing as the initial meeting. So many thoughts are bound to overwhelm: Is my date attracted? Did I ramble on too much about work? Was my comment about current events completely asinine? Push these worries aside for the moment and simply relax while saying goodbye. Because more than likely, your date’s got a few self-imposed bothersome thoughts too. If all went well and no blood was shed, express your interest and be genuine about future intentions. I’d opt to avoid the first-date kiss. Instead, if the vibe’s right, go for a quick hug.